ABC…easy as 1-2-3, my butt

P: Procrastinator extraordinaire. Is that a positive quality? If not, then I’m at a loss for P.

The delectable wrekehavoc tagged me for the ABC meme some time ago in a land far far away. I buried the meme in the recesses of my mind along with a few other memes to be memed and the torture endured by childhood bullies. I mostly buried the ABC meme because one of the stipulations is that you only name ‘positive’ qualities about yourself. I’m too dang sarcastic to put myself on such a pedestal, but we’ll see how we can muddle through this together. Ahem. I’m great. I’m wonderful. Everybody likes me.

The rules of the game: List a word that describes you for every letter of the alphabet. Offer as much or as little explanation as you wish. Please keep the words positive (for example, don’t use “fat” for F or “lame” for L), and feel free to get creative. Tag as many or as few people as you wish. Link back to your tagger and forward to your taggees.

Well, hell, there go F and L, too.

A: Accepting of others. I’m not a prejudice person and find the idea of dismissing someone due to their skin color, ethnicity, religious affiliation, accent, sexual orientation, social status, or what have you to be absolutely absurd. I’ll wait for you to be an a$$ towards me, then dismiss you.

B: Belated wellwisher. Yes, this might be seen as a negative attribute, but I look at it as ‘Hey, you never know when I’ll show up to celebrate your birthday. Surprise! More birthday cake 3 months after the fact.’ Now, who’s gonna argue with that?

C: Curvy. Ha, I give an entirely new definition to ‘curvy’ with this extended bulbous baby load. But, even without kids in utero, I’ve always leaned toward the curvy side of the body shape spectrum and wish more women would embrace some shape to their popsicle stick.

D: Dreamer. Yes, my head is often in the clouds. Again, to some, this is a negative attribute as I may spend more time dreaming than actually doing and don’t always (ok, rarely) accomplish said dreams. But, the air is so much clearer up here in the clouds. (I know, I know, they’re actually full of a bunch of tiny ice crystals. But, I’m a dreamer, remember?)

E: Education junkie. I would stay in school and learn stuff forever if someone payed me to do so. I managed to stay in school in one form or another up until Gab started growing in my belly. I remember starting a biology class just a couple of weeks after Gav was born…that’s where I learned the importance of quality absorbent breast pads. My first day back with my cheap chintzy breast pads in tow, I soaked the front row. But, I loved school enough to keep coming back for more. I finished my bachelor’s that Spring, later went through grad school while raising Gav, and even poked around with organic chemistry and physics classes just before Gab’s grand debut. (I was dreaming of med school at the time. I’ve also toyed with the law school idea and went so far as to take the LSAT some months after Gab was born. Refer to ‘D.’ I might also add here that I’m prone to being an ‘M’ for Masochist.)

F: Freethinker. I don’t go with the flow. I have my own views on life which I keep to myself. I revel in the ability to think for myself and not follow the herd. Baaa!

G: Genuine. What you see is what you get with me. I’ll tell you like it is. I don’t put on airs. And, I stay far far away from superficial folks. They make my stomach churn.

H: Humor driven. Man, if comedy didn’t exist in the world, I would shrivel up and die. I crack myself and others up on a daily basis. I probably find humor in places where I shouldn’t and may sometimes be mistaken for not being serious about this or that. Or, just flat out mistaken for being weird. At the last doctor’s visit while undergoing the eternal waiting room wait, just as a nurse opened the lab door beside me someone’s cellphone blared some college football pep song. I expected show girls to emerge legs a high kickin’ and boobs a bouncin’ from the lab area out into the waiting room…The Foxy Phlebotomists to speed along our wait. E and I lost it; everyone else looked at us like we were oozing a$$holes. Sheesh, people, lighten up.

I: Instinctual. I touched on this in the Comment Round-Up. I parent mostly by instinct (and flat out common sense). But, I’m also highly instinctual when it comes to everyday living. I tend to be spot-on regarding those initial instincts upon meeting someone. (and often kick myself senseless for not relying on those instincts years later) Ooh, she’s weird and witchy. I’ve got my ‘W’ covered.

J: Jumpsuits ride up your crack. (would you rather get a repeat of some of the above with jovial and non-judging? nah, jumpsuits are crack seekers.)

K: Karaoke-phobe. I’ve only gotten on stage twice (after many drinks) to humiliate myself. The first time, we waited until the bar was empty and my friend promised to sing with me. However, all I could hear was my blaring hideous voice…beeyotch had turned her microphone off and was lip-syncing. (what did i sing? the first few lines of “I Will Survive” by Miss Gloria Gaynor…an all-time chick favorite of karaoke bars. i know; i suck.) The second karaoke disaster…I don’t know what I was thinking…maybe it was one of those ‘I don’t give an eff’ days…same friend and I sat silent through most of Salt N Pepa’s “Let’s Talk About Sex”…you know, that song has a lot of words. Let’s talk about making an a$$ of ourself. No more karaoke for me, thank you.

L: Lover of languages. I’ve already ranted on this thread. I love learning languages. If someone is discussing my broad butt in the check-out line, I want to know about it.

M: Mechanical. I’m usually pretty good at figuring out how stuff works and how to fix things. (wow, that was an intelligent sentence. things, stuff, pretty good. sho’ nuff) I learned how to install a phone line (and tap phones…don’t ask) from my mom. The awesome brother P had a hammer, screwdriver, saw in my hand every weekend…I learned to change my brake pads (which I never do), change the oil in the car, replace gutters, replace toilets. The list goes on forever. I also worked in a circuit board plant the summer after high school graduation. I took an electronics course in grad school and worked with quite a bit of electronic gadgetry in a couple of labs. I should be able to build a robot to help out with the twins. Hey, there’s an idea.

N: Nuts, I like. My favorites are hazelnuts, cashews, and pistachios.

O: Organ donor. Don’t go hunting me down for my inner goods just yet. But, when the time comes, they’re yours for the pickin’.

P: Peaceful. I am normally a calm, easygoing person. Tightly wound people make me want to take a nap. I can’t handle the negative energy that some people emit. It really makes no sense to me. Reeeelaaaaax.

Q: Quaffer. I will heartily drink an enjoyable beverage. (I’m looking in the dictionary because I’m not a quilt maker nor into quantum physics.)

R: Recycler. I’m becoming more and more obsessive with the recycling around the house. “WHO PUT THIS TOILET PAPER ROLL IN THE REGULAR TRASH???”

S: Solid. I am solid in who I am. I know what makes me tick and tock.

T: Trustworthy. Your secret is safe with me. I am a vault.

U: Ultra tired of this meme already. Ok, that’s not positive. Ukuleles are cool.

V: Video killed the radio star.

W: Wordy. This may be both good and bad. Good if you like to read ramblings, bad if you’re looking for a short sweet succinct bit.

X: Xenophile. I am fascinated by the people of the world.

Y: Yippee! I am almost finished with this meme. I yearn to be done with this for I fear you are now yawning. (And, yuppies? Yuck!)

Z: ZZZZzzzzzz. Wake up! It’s over. The zebra in the zootsuit zonked out at the zoo from eating too many zucchinis.

See how I got halfway through the alphabet and became all, “Dang, let’s get this over with.” That’s a big ole alphabet.

Ah, and I forgot to tag people. Because I suuuuuuck. (I’m not in the meme anymore…I can be all grouchy and negative now. I suck. I’m lame. And, I’m fat.)

Amy of The Freelanceaholic Life Do not fear the meme for you have been tagged.
Mary of functional shmunctional Get off that ATV and meme away, my dear.