Banana-nana-fo-fana, Me-my-mo-mana…

Do bones make good kindling for a fire? What about pubic bones? Because mine seriously is about to snap in two, so I’m offering it up to anyone out there who needs to get warm this winter. I figure you’ll need to let it dry out for a while, but then it should be fair game for some toasty nights warming your footsies by the fireplace courtesy of my hoohaa framework.

While I don’t think either of the twins have entered the ‘lock and load’ phase of my pelvic frame, both of their heads constantly scruuuuuub against the right side of ye old pubic bone. (i know, i know, i just won’t shut up already about my downstairs apartment, will i? it’s just that i’m constantly reminded of the tenants what with all their loud music, late night partying, and general trashing of the place) And, it hurts. Waa, waa, girly bits update complete.

Hey, big news! I think we have names for the twins. Can you believe it? I basically had to throw down the gauntlet and say, “Hey, buddy, I’m feeding these puppies life on a daily basis. I at least get to name one.” So, I tossed out all of E’s prized female names (Viviana, Giovanna, Abigail) and picked one on my own. Yes, he still calls every 10 minutes of the day, offering up different names. I think he just wants to be able to say he was the one to name the kids. Bragging rights of some sort. ???

When it came to naming Gab, I basically gave up offering suggestions as he had ‘dated’ someone sharing each name I suggested. And, let me tell you, that is no fun, pregnant or not, playing the ‘Guess the names of all the people your mate has slept with name game.’ Apparently, I’m a winner at that game for I kept pulling the “winning” names out of the hat. So, I gave him naming rights with Gab and was satisfied with his choice.

Gav was named by his uncle. His dad and I had decided on the name ‘Niko’ and were good to go with it. But, his dad’s parents kept throwing a shiznit fit, “No, no, you cannot name him ‘Niko.’ No, any name but that.” Which I took as, “Oh no they didn’t!! Your parents are NOT going to control what I name my baby.” So, my donkey stubborn ways kicked in and we clung even tighter to ‘Niko.’ Finally, his parents (remember, they’re from Egypt) buckled and said, “Please, you cannot name him this for it is very bad in Arabic.” “Ok, well, what is it?” “I cannot say these words.” “Sure you can.” Basically, from what I remember, it means something equivalent to F*cker or F*ck off! in Arabic. Oooooh, why didn’t you say that in the first place? Ciao, Niko you little Niko. Niko Niko.

So, see. I may have a baker’s dozen of children, but I haven’t named any of them. So, this girl is all mine. While I have a first name, I’m still floundering on a middle name. After a few more days have passed and E stops throwing other names at me, I’ll post the chosen names. The boy’s name is fairly common and innocuous, but much better than some of the Don Juan names E was offering.

Stay tuned for names and more discussion of my achy breaky pubic bone.