The plane and simple truth

Before I regale you with tales of Gab’s multinational birthday party, I HAVE to share this video from Saturday with you. It is classic E. And, proof that we are not a plane family.

First, let me break down the plane history to you. Gav received his initial remote controlled airplane for his birthday a few years ago. His uncle promptly took said plane out to the front yard and ran it straight into the power lines. ZAP! Goodbye, plane number 1.

Second, Gav’s father replaced that plane with yet another overpriced ‘made for experienced plane flying adults only’ airplane. I drove with Gav and the plane in tow to my podunk hometown where I knew of a large field we could use as plane stomping grounds. An elderly gentleman who had been flying these planes for MANY years had a helluva time just getting the plane in the air. One zip through the air and he landed the plane, saying it was far too complicated for even his bazillion years of experience. Back home we went and off to the closet went the plane. Gav later threw a major temper tantrum in which he destroyed the contents of his bedroom, including the precious unflyable plane (tantrum in no way related to the plane adventures).

Enter last week stage right…E frolics onstage with his lightbulb idea, “Hey, you know what would be a cool family hobby? Remote controlled airplanes!” Have I told you how E has zero patience and an unflappable disdain for reading instructions? Well, he does and he does. Even with my newborn infant’s hobby plane experience, I know these aren’t easy peasy dealios. But, okay. Sure. Hobby planes it is.

Below you will find (or should find…we’ll see after posting if i’m a complete dumba$$ with video posts or not) our maiden voyage in the air. I’ve spliced two poor quality videos together. (i only had the digital camera on me, so you’ll see waves of darkness creep in and out of the scene…don’t worry; you haven’t developed a brain tumor) I included the first video so you can experience the prep time with me. Notice E holding the instruction manual along with the controller. It was his first time reading through only the first few pages. “Do you know how to steer the plane?” I asked. He replies, “I’ll figure it out as I go.” Okey dokey, plane go up in smokey.

Here, take a gander and then we’ll regroup.

First off, like my deep mumbly voice? I’m a Barry White mumbler.

Can you hear the panic in my voice as I call E’s name the first time? If you watch and listen closely, a few seconds later the plane crashes in the trees just a foot or so ahead of the jogger in red. The panic in my voice is due to the very busy highway that is just beyond the trees. E and I joked just minutes earlier, “Can you imagine driving down the highway and all of a sudden BAM! an airplane crashes into your windshield? Wouldn’t that be some sh!t?!” Oh, yes, that would indeed be some sh!t. I’m standing there filming, wondering if he maybe dozed off and forgot about steering the plane away from THE VERY BUSY HIGHWAY. Hence, the panicky voice.

The children…Gav is a harsh critic, end of story. Even Gab gives her 10 cents if you hear her “FLY!” there at the end.

Amazingly, the plane survived unscathed. I’m not sure how wise it will be for us to give it another go. Keep your eyes peeled for hobby airplanes the next time you’re cruising down the road.