Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it shut down the city

Middle Alabama received a light crop dusting of snow today, and, holy hades, you’d think the world had reversed rotation. I’m embarrassed to say that all those rumors you hear of southerners freaking out over the tiniest bit of snow? It’s all true.

All day yesterday and last night, the local news stations were constantly interrupting each and every t.v. show with flash bulletins on the Winter Storm Alert. Snow barely covered the ground and had disappeared entirely within an hour of the sun rising this morning. But, yes, that is cause for breaking out the snow tires and stock piling bread here.

What embarrassed me most this time was seeing a local traffic gal give tips on how to drive in the snow. Elaborate graphics were created for each and every tip as she slowly and with grave concern went through them one by one. I wish I had written all of them down, but I was too busy being dumbfounded and mouthing off at the television, “Are you f**king kidding me?” I exaggerate not with the few I remember…

• Do not drive fast.
• Drive with caution.
• Do not follow too closely the car in front of you. Keep at least a car’s length between you and the car in front of you.
• Do not slam on your brakes.
• …

Did the news station have an eight-year old intern for the day? Where was the tip on not licking an icy pole? Your tongue might stick. That’s very dangerous. And, don’t swallow your gum. It might get stuck in your butt.

I so wish I was joking. And, the deadly serious nature with which the news gal spoke as she emphasized each tip. Come on, people.

The photo of Gab was taken during the previous Winter Snow Storm a couple of months ago. It was Gab’s first time to see snow and she loved it! She proved to me that she’s ready to move up North where all the cool folks hang.