On The Curb

A week later…again. Hi, there…again.

I could list the many reasons for my absence (again), but you all understand.

There’s a baby hiding at every escape route in this house. “Roger that. The Mama Bird is making an escape for the bathroom. We must remain steadfast in our mission to prevent the bird from emptying her bladder. Alpha Lima, engage in the caterwauling. Over.”

And, one particular baby whose name will go unmentioned ALANI! takes high maintenance - this purse with those shoes and that belt - chick to a fresh and frighteningly unexplored level. I thought certain university classes or ultra-sensitive lab experiments were a challenge? Shiiiiiiiiiiit.

What’s new and improved with the twins? They finally started acknowledging each other’s existence the past couple of weeks. Prior to the twin epiphany, I would position them face-to-face and they would blankly stare through each other. Oddest thing. Each would smile and chuckle at pint-sized Gab, but put another cup-sized person in the mix…fahget about it.

Long gone are the daily routines of slumbering like bears and idly staring into the great dark blobby unknown for these guys. It’s a constant shuffling of babies from this location to that location, keep your eye on the baby, where’s the baby, there’s the baby, move it around, move it around, oop the baby’s not under that cup.

They seem to be growing judging from the higher digits on their clothing sizes. Next week will ring in month 4 of Babies Gone Wild. I’ll post another height and weight count for anyone interested (mainly myself who is prone to bouts of extreme forgetfulness…if i don’t write it down immediately, poof!, the memory? she’s out of my life…i don’t even remember gav’s first word…i tell him ‘mama’ just to please myself…gab’s first word?…that i remember…it was ’sex’ said in a cute sing-songy voice…we’ve scared away many potential ‘couples with kids’ friend candidates when they ask the ‘first word’ question…she was trying to say ’socks’ as her grandmother was/is obsessed with keeping socks on her feet…socks, sex, potato, potahto…won’t you be my friend?).

**While no animals were harmed during the making of this post, breasts were suckled on 5 separate occasions.**

**Great. I’ve said breasts, sex, gone wild, and shiiiiiiiiiiit all in the same post. Googlepervs: Nothing to see here. Move along.**