Breaking news: I just returned from the grocery store where the bagger, after commenting on how cute Gab is, said, “You don’t look like you have any kids.” Aha, but do I! I took this as a compliment but am puzzled as to what she must have been thinking.
Now, what could it be? I know she wasn’t fishing for a tip to carry my groceries to the car as Publix Hairs doesn’t allow tipping.
I’d like to think it was my hot, svelte rockin’ body. But, my scale and stretched out panties would beg to differ.
My warped glasses? The frizzy hair up in a messy bun with 3-inch long gray hairs sprouting out? (i’m delusional to think i can still pluck all of the ‘arctic blonde’ hairs taking over the real estate atop my cranium…yet, i yank a good 20 a day…it’s a habit at this point) My crow’s feet? The dry, callused heels? (i’m failing miserably at my new year’s resolution of baby bun soft feet) The deadpan expression on my face?
You wanna know my secret to eternal youth which elicits compliments from grocery store clerks?
My tie-dyed t-shirt.
Is there a word stronger than hate? Because that’s how E feels about this shirt. I’ve never seen anything (other than my affinity for Prince and his music) get under E’s skin more than my tie-dyed t-shirt. And, it dumbfounds me.
This shirt comes up daily in conversation. I use it as the fundamental difference between the two of us. I’ll wear tie-dyed shirts whereas he wouldn’t even scrub the toilets wearing such an atrocity (oh, but don’t get me started on the sleeveless dale earnhardt shirt he has in his dresser…i’m assuming that shirt came from the same alabama belle who turned him on to nestea in a can, yuck).
Deeper than tie-dye, E values appearance far more than I do. This is a topic worth an entire week’s worth of posts which maybe I’ll delve into later. FYI, if you want to befriend E, don’t wear tie-dyed clothing.
And, you can rest assured – I wear the ever loving shiznit out of my tie-dyed t-shirt! May you stay forever young in tie-dye.
6 responses so far ↓
mike golch // May 19, 2008 at 11:45 am |
there is nothing wrong with tiedyed t-shirts.That is my story and I’m sticking to it.let’s all stay young forever!
wrekehavoc // May 19, 2008 at 7:05 pm |
let your freak flag fly, sistah dee.
although i was saddened to see that one of our local supermarkets just posted a HUGE sign out front that states that they are now going to card each and every person who buys wine or beer, not just the people who look under 30.
i think my self-esteem has just taken a direct hit.
grandy // May 19, 2008 at 10:52 pm |
Wait…let me make sure I understand this… E cares about his appearance AND has a sleeveless Dale Earnhart shirt??
Huh!
onthecurb // May 20, 2008 at 8:07 am |
Flying the tie-dyed freak flag, wreke!
EXACTLY, grandy!! (however, i’ve only seen him wear it once…all i had to do was give him the look of ‘i just vomited in my mouth’ and he immediately scurried away to change…so impressionable
) (glad to see you out and about…i hope you’re in high spirits)
Wear the tie-dye proudly, mike!
Nylonthread // June 5, 2008 at 8:18 am |
But would E scrub the toilets using the tie-dye as a rag? I bet he would!
Um, I have a couple of “goth” tie-die shirts, do they count? They are black with red and sort of a khaki-brown mixed in. The ones that come to mind: a Bauhaus shirt with Peter Murphy’s noggin on it; and a Clockwork Orange-inspired design featuring Malcolm MacDowell as “lil Alex.”
Lend me your ears and I’ll make you pee « On The Curb // July 11, 2008 at 10:50 pm |
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